How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The 5 Keys to Mindful Loving
- Utilised Book in Excellent Situation
“Most individuals consider of love as a feeling,” says David Richo, “but love is not so a lot a feeling as a way of getting present.” In this book, Richo offers a fresh viewpoint on enjoy and relationships—one that focuses not on discovering an excellent mate, but on becoming a a lot more loving and realistic particular person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores 5 hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a crucial function in our relationships throughout life:
1. Attention to the present moment observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2. Acceptance of ourselves and other folks just as we are.
3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4. Affection shown by means of holding and touching in respectful approaches.
5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, with out
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3 thoughts on “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving”
Not for the average reader,
Even though their titles begin with How to… these are not self-help books.
In this book, the author discusses what love is: giving attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing – the five A’s as he calls it. The language used is beautiful, the way the author thinks is inspiring, and you can just feel that he himself is a loving person. No ego-based, “let me tell you how amazing I am” paragraphs here.
The book is valuable as a piece of literature, as a philosophical and psychological work. I reread and contemplated many pages.
The bottom line is this: if you are looking for a quick-fix, feel good book – skip this one. If you are prepared to do the work, if you are not afraid of realization that learning how to love is a life-long process, and are not scared of (as another reviewer put it) big words, this is the book that is worth reading – again and again.
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|Absolutely Insightful!!!,
You won’t be disappointed in this book. I had to force myself to put it down and sleep. I read it in two days. I underlined SO many sections that applied to me. This book is a lifetime keeper!!! Get one for you or someone close to you if you feel they need to make some changes in the way they choose relationships in their lives. You (or them) will be happy you did!!!
One warning…It’s very truthful. Sometimes when you hear something you dont like, it can have a profound effect. I cried reading this book several times because it talked about my life…my thought processes and my feelings when choosing and staying with a partner.
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|If this was required reading for everyone on the planet…,
I read this book a few years ago and refer to it time and again to not only remind myself but also to share with friends regarding their relationships. This book is like having multiple books in one. I’d like to write some highlights for you, but the entire book is a highlight. Some samplings, however, of this great book…
“Here are the words of an adult: “Even though you please me sexually, even though we have been together so long, even though I don’t know whether I will ever find somone else, I have to let you go because you do not meet me at my soul/adult level.” “Here are the words of a codependent: “Because you please me sexually, because we have been together so long, because I don’t know whether I will ever find someone else, I can’t let you go– even though you do not meet me at my soul/adult level.”
“As adolescents, we were taught that the way to tell we are in love is by our loss of control, our loss of will, and a compelling sense that we could not have done otherwise. This falling in love contrasts with the reality of rising in love with conscious choice, sane fondness, intact boundaries, and ruthless clarity.” Referring to the former, Richo adds, “…that kind of reaction is actually a signal from the needy child within, telling us what we need to work on, not directing us to our rescuer.”
“Love can be confused with clinging that is welcomed by the other, sexual desire that is satisfied by the other, or neediness that is fulfilled by the other. Love can even be confused with dependence, surrender, conquest, submission, dominance, gratification, fascination, pain, or addiction. I may feel that I love you because you love me, or will not leave me, or will not let me feel lonely, or will not make me feel anything. I may feel I love you and say it with passion when I am mostly reacting to the way my own needs are being met through you. I may say “I love you” and simply mean, ” I am attached to you and it feels good.”
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It’s brilliant and, if you allow, it can serve as a roadmap to loving authentically and being authentically loved beyond what most people know or have the awareness to imagine as being possible. Divorce rates being what they are and the desire, still, to spend our lives with one person who “sees” us, accepts us, and loves us, this book answers the call for how to get it right.
Richo’s other books are also brilliant.
Peace.
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